The Great Bunny Invasion of 2007

Captain's Log

Day 1, 0100 hours:

We have been overrun by bunnies. This is definitely a danger of living in an unincorporated part of town that is quickly encroaching on wildlife's natural habitat, especially since the two housecats think they are predators. The first casualty is a small adolescent bunny chased into the house by Maxine, AKA The Terminator Cat. This poor victim, code named Hamartia, suffered greviously at the hands of The Terminator and was rescued by Number One. Number One forgot her years of Academy training when confronted with such inhumanity and panicked at the sight of the gaping wound in Hamartia's side. I took control of the situation and relegated both Hamartia and Number One to Sick Bay for the remainder of the evening.

Day 1, 0800 hours:

Number One left Sick Bay to go about her usual duties, leaving Hamartia in my care. Hamartia is obviously in shock, yet responsive. The bleeding has abated a bit and she is eating lightly.

Day 1, 1300 hours:

Number One has procured the services of a specialist to tend to Hamartia. Her code name is Mahoney and she has provided the young victim with commercial sustenance. Mahoney is an expert bunnyist.

Day 2, 1500 hours:

Hamartia has escaped Sick Bay. She must be aboard somewhere, as she is too small to jump out a window and too large to escape into the ship's ventilation system.

Day 2, 1530 hours:

Hamartia has been located under Number One's bed.

Day 2, 2200 hours:

Having just retired to Captain's Quarters, I was disturbed by The Terminator trying to get behind my bookcase. When I investigated the reason for this behavior, I found that The Terminator had chased another bunny into the house and the poor creature was seeking refuge behind my college Anthropology textbooks. I rescued bunny #2 by locking The Terminator in the john, and releasing bunny #2 back into the suburban wild.

Day 3, 0900 hours:

Number Two discovered two small bunnies hiding in the bushes under her window. This caused a stir and it took a while to get the crew back to their posts. No change in Hamartia's condition, though she remains under surveillance.

Day 3, 1000 hours:

Number Three discovered bunny #5 hiding in the milk box. Another uproar. The Terminator was predictably excited by this development and was again locked in the lavatory.

Day 4, 0130 hours:

The Terminator disturbed Captain's Quarters in the early morning. This time because bunny #6 got herself trapped in the window well and The Terminator was attempting to claw her way to bunny #6 through the glass. The Terminator spent the rest of the night locked in the lavatory.

Day 4, 0800 hours:

Ensign Haberman was dispatched on a rescue mission to retrieve bunny #6 from the ship's window well.

Day 4, 0900 hours:

Hamartia's condition is rapidly deteriorating. She is weak and not eating or drinking. I fear the worst.

Day 5, 0130 hours:

Number One has come to me with distressing news. Hamartia did not live through the night and Number One has again forgotten her years of Academy training.

Though I feel heartbroken over the loss of Hamartia, I recognize the end of The Great Bunny Invasion of 2007 and feel that overall, the lessons and techniques learned by the crew are invaluable.

Blond Wisdom

"Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't kill their husbands."

-Elle Woods
Legally Blond

Bloggety Blog

On MarketingProfs.com' BLOG: When will BLOGGING become last year's fad?

I had to BLOG it. So BLOGGING ironic.

No, but really... it's all relative

My boss suffers from Plantar Fasciitis, which if you don't know is essentially pain in the arch of your foot due mostly to your weight distributing itself unevenly along your foot when you walk and your arch muscles being not quite up to the task. It's actually very common, my mom and two of my aunts have the same thing.

Anyway, he wears orthotics inside his shoes to keep his feet from hurting. He has one pair of shoes that squeak like a mouse with the orthotics inside, something that of course I must tease him about. He's a good 9 years older than me so age jokes are my favorite.

Yeah well age is relative, you know. About 20 minutes after I made fun of him, calling him an old man with his squeaky "orthodontic" shoes (another one of my favorite pastimes; using the wrong word to be silly - GEEK) he walks by my office again while I'm listening to my iPod. He comes around the desk and touches the wheel to see what I am listening to, and Lo! And Behold! totally busts me listening to Joni Mitchell.

S: :| You're listening to Joni Mitchell.
L: :| Yes I are.
S: I thought you'd be listening to Kid Rock or something like that...
L: Hey, actually I really lo-
S: No. No. I do not want to hear it. You have no room to talk. You're not that cool.
L: (shot down) Okay, no I guess I really have no room at all.

Proof of the eclecticism of my iPod

Is it me or do Kenny Rogers and Lionel Ritchie sound exactly the same????

Horrible! Yet Somehow Humbling

The dryer took a crap the other day while the warden was drying a load of his clothes. Stopped spinning and refused to start again. I've been thinking for a while that it was gonna die soon but my thinking was mostly along the lines that since nobody but me cleans out the lint trap, it was going to catch fire and burn the house down. So I guess it could have been worse. Also it had been losing power steadily for the last couple months (but I actually think that if the warden had gotten back there and cleaned out all the years of fuzz, that problem would have gone away).

So.. here I am hanging clothes on a clothesline in the back yard. I hate this because of how rainy the weather has been and I don't think of things like taking down the clothes on the line (why would I) when it starts raining (inevitable, with the way this spring is going). I also hate it because instead of taking 35-40 minutes to dry a load and get the next load in there, it takes more like 3 hours for one load to dry enough to put away.

On the other hand this whole experience is humbling in a way. I remember when Moe was a baby and it was just her and I living in our little shotgun shack in Rocky Ford, Colorado. Those were the days when we lived off less money for the entire month than I now spend on my car payment. I used to use cloth diapers on her, which meant that I was perpetually in a state of laundry doing. (Come to think of it, I still am, but I have more kids now...) I didn't even HAVE a dryer then so every load got hung outside. I got pretty good at it too, being able to hold something like 1,000 clothespins in one hand in order to get everything pinned in a systematic way.

I dunno if there's a lesson to be learned here; I suppose there should be some kind of deep moral about having come a long way from those days through a combination of hard work and perseverance, but instead it seems more like I'm just kinda spoiled now. And I probably pay too much for my car.