Monday, July 05, 2010

It's the oldest story in the world. It's all been said before, by others, by writers, by poets, by gypsies, tramps and thieves.

"I try to believe," she said, "that God doesn't give you more than one little piece of the story at once. You know, the story of your life. Otherwise your heart would crack wider than you could handle. He only cracks it enough so you can still walk, like someone wearing a cast. But you've still got a crack running up your side, big enough for a sapling to grow out of. Only no one sees it. Nobody sees it. Everybody thinks you're one whole piece, and so they treat you maybe not so gentle as they would if they could see that crack."

I so wish we could talk about these things openly. I really did believe...that we would talk about everything honestly, but the opposite has occurred: We're like two people on separate islands, with only tin cans and string as a means of communication.

When I'm with him I don't feel...significant. I want to be everything to him. I want to be essential. I want him to be unable to live without me, but how can I be these things if he won't let me?

If you detect even an inkling of happiness, a tiny glimpse of love, a mere hint of contentment, for heaven's sake grab it and don't let go. Don't ever think twice.

Perhaps head-over-heels in love is an option only available to teenagers, and other people who are fortunate enough never to have had their hearts broken and hardened.

Even if we did see this through, I can't tell you that just because we've met again we're going to be a happy ending and rush off into the sunset. It would mean starting from scratch and seeing how it goes.

You're a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit.

Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.

"Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fighting!"
"Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing."
"So what?"
"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out."
"What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt."
"Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?"

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