The Tao of Dude

This is an absolutely true, almost word for word account of a real conversation I had with the boy on the way to school today. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up.

Dude: Mom, I can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. There are three things I want to be.

Mom: Really, what are they?

Dude: Well one is a geographer.

Mom: A geographer?

Dude: Yes, cuz I'm really really good at taking pictures.

Mom: oh, you mean a photographer.

Dude: yes, a pheographer -

Mom: ....

Dude: - I want to be a pheographer and take lots of pictures. Because I like that. I also want to be a police man, cuz I'm really good at talking on the walkie talkie -

Mom: ...

Dude: - and a policeman has to do that all day long. I also want to be a scientist because I'm really smart.

Mom: oh, you are?

Dude: yes, I'm really smart. So I can't decide which one I want to be.

Mom: Why don't you be all three?

Dude: No, that would be too much work. And when I grow up I want to have a dog and a cat and they will miss me too much, I will need to be there to take care of them.

Mom: okay.

Dude: Oh, and you know how you call Poo a bear and me a monkey? Well, it's a really good thing that we're not really animals, and you are just joking about that.

Mom: uh, okay, why?

Dude: Because then we wouldn't be able to go swimming at Daddy's condo. Because they don't allow any pets in the place where they keep the pool. So it's a good thing that in real life, we're really people.

Mom: I see.