Control Can Become...

I was reading a handout from UnitedHealth that discusses different issues within relationships. It's meant as a general guide to "when to seek professional help". When I read the domestic violence portion, I had to stop and do a double-take because one of my very very good friends is currently going through much of this situation. It's something I have been worried about for a while because the significant other is SUCH a controlling personality and my friend is still in the phase of not wanting the relationship to fail. However, I very much hope my friend reads this post and does some thinking about the dangers of being in relationship under these circumstances. Only because I love you, Hon, and I've been in the same boat.

Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

Your partner:

• Checks up on you a lot, for example, by listening in on phone calls, constantly asking about whereabouts, calling you at work all day, or checking your car mileage
• Puts you down, for example, by name-calling, constant criticism, public or private humiliation, or making you feel crazy
• Tries to control you, for example, by telling you not to see certain friends or family members, keeping you away from school or work, making you stay home when you want to go out
• Acts jealous or possessive and says it’s a sign of love
• Destroys or threatens to destroy your belongings
• Threatens to hurt you, friends, children, family members, or pets
• Threatens to take your children away from you
• Touches you in ways that hurt or scare you
• Makes you have sex in ways or at times that are uncomfortable
• Blames you and other people for everything, and gets angry in a way that scares you or observers
• Says that your concerns about the relationship are not real or not important